


slippin' through my fingers

by DarlingImaWriter



Series: Lin Beifong one shots [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, F/F, Homophobia, Romance, a hint of an abusive relationship, it gets a little steamy but it stays pg-13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingImaWriter/pseuds/DarlingImaWriter
Summary: three times Lin should have spoken up and the one time she finally does.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Reader
Series: Lin Beifong one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962940
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	slippin' through my fingers

“Lin slow down!” You scream which only causes her grin to widen. You tighten your arms around her waist and bury your face in her back, she can faintly hear you cursing her out over the wind as she speeds past automobiles on her brand new motorcycle. She’d gotten it for her seventeenth birthday and immediately convinced you to go for a ride with her, it took some begging but finally you caved after saying she owed you a piece of cake in return. 

She revs her cycle and heads out of the city, to a spot on the outskirts overlooking the ocean, she’d found it the other day with Suyin and knew how much you’d appreciate it. When she turns a corner a little sharper than the rest you let out a terrified scream that has her laughing so hard it hurts her cheeks, but almost immediately she chokes on that laughter as you bury your face in her neck this time instead of her back. Suddenly she feels stiff, nervous even, having you this close was a bad idea. 

Lin had been feeling weird towards you lately, she’d chalked it up to growing up but the other night she woke up from her dream drenched in sweat as she vaguely remembered sliding her hands up your bare thighs as you begged her to stop being a tease. Technically it was from growing up, just… a different kind. 

Thankfully they finally pull up to the spot and she kills the engine before kicking the stand into place, hesitantly you pull your face away from her neck, just a few inches and now she feels your breath tickle the skin behind her ear. Lin was screwed. 

“Oh wow, Lin…” You breathe out after finally detaching yourself from her, you stand up and adjust your rumpled clothes before taking off your almost. Your hair falls out in a glorious heap and Lin has to pull her gaze away from you because the sun is hitting you just right and she won’t last long if this continues. 

You grab onto her hand and pull her to the cliff edge where you carefully sit down so your feet can dangle off of it. Lin sits beside you but makes sure there's a decent distance between the two of you, you furrow your brows at her actions and scoot closer so your thighs are touching. It’s like you want to torture her. 

“You like it?” she asks softly, she’s worried you won’t all of the sudden. You are from a very aristocratic family and you’ve probably seen better things, but you erase all her worries when you smile softly and say so quietly the wind almost carries it away “Yeah, I do.” 

“Can I tell you a secret?” you ask hesitantly, your fiddling with your nails as you stare down at your lap. You're nervous. 

“You can tell me anything, y/n.” 

“I don’t like men” you whisper, going completely still as you wait for her reply. Lin laughs, “no one likes men y/n, we just tolerate them.” 

“No like romantically I don’t.” Your shoulders sag and you finally chance a glance in her direction, Lin’s quiet now, her laughter has stopped and she doesn’t know what to say, are you somehow aware of her dream? Is this a joke? “I kissed Tenzin recently, not because there’s feelings but I asked him if he would and I think he was just excited to have his first kiss… It felt gross and wrong.” 

“Well Tenzin’s one man” Lin says, “and he’s hardly even a man at that.” You snort, one of your hands going up to cover your mouth, you're insecure about that, but now that Lin is thinking about it, it’s kind of cute. 

“I’ve kissed other guys Lin. Some of the girls at my school mentioned having dreams... “ you flush, “sexual kinds about guys and I’ve never had those. They even listed off a bunch of stuff guys do that they think is hot and I just kept picturing women doing it.” 

You knock the wind out of Lin at that, she’s had some thoughts towards guys before now that she thinks about it, desires but none of have been as intense as her current desire for you is. It’s tense between the two of you as you wait for her to reply. “Can you please say something?” you beg. 

_ I think your really pretty and I’d like to hold your hand and kiss you goodnight _

“Nothings wrong with liking girls, y/n” Lin says instead, you look a little relieved yet disappointed. 

  
  


* * *

_ Breaking news! Mrs. y/l/n of y/l/n industry has fallen ill! Her immediate family has not given any statements but a close source says it's any minute until she departs this world. _

* * *

__

When you open your bedroom door for Lin she notices how pale you look, she leaves work as soon as possible after hearing the news through the radio stationed in the main office of the station. “Y/n, I am so s-” before she continues you launch yourself into her arms and cry, she pulls you in close and stays silent, letting you get it out of your system. 

You lost your dad when you were ten, your mom is the only parent you have left and she knows it’ll be hard when she passes, especially since you’ll have to take over the family company. You pull her into your room and kick the door shut with your foot, still gripping her tightly. 

“She’s gonna die Lin” you choke out between sobs and Lin’s heart breaks. It’s been three years since she realized her feelings for you and everyday since she’s wanted to take your face in her hands and kiss you until you both run out of breath. She’s even had to distance herself from you a bit, you guys used to see each other everyday but now it's once a week if you're lucky. 

When Lin became a cop you’d always waltz in around lunch in one of your beautiful dresses that stopped mid thigh, you had tights on underneath but she knew your mom still gave you hell for your daily attire. You are holding two cups of tea along with a paper bag being dangled between your fingers that always had something incredibly delicious inside. 

The day Lin realized you couldn’t come by anymore you’d brought donuts along with sandwiches for the two of you to eat. The glaze of the donut had dripped down the side of your hand and onto your wrist, instead of using a napkin you simply licked it up with your tongue. Once you left she stumbled her way to the gym and tried to take out her sexual frustration in another way. 

That night she called and said she was told it was unprofessional for you to keep visiting, she could tell through the phone how disappointed you were, but you didn’t want to get her in trouble so you stopped showing up. One of her coworkers made a joke that first day you didn’t stop by “hey Lin, where's that lover of yours?” Her face flushed a deep red and she taught him and the others to never talk about you again. 

“You won’t be alone, you’ll have me… a-and Tenzin, Bumi likes to come to your birthday parties so you have him too” she says, a weak chuckle escapes you as you finally pull away from her and wipe at your eyes. 

“I’ll never be alone again” you say cryptically and walk over to the deep green velvet couch stationed underneath a wide window overlooking the city. 

“What do you mean?” Lin sits down beside you. You lean your arms against the back of the couch and look out the window, a deep frown has found its home on your lips and more tears escape the corners of your eyes. 

“My mom’s dying wish is for me to marry” you say softly. Lin’s eyes widen and before she can ask any questions, you beat her to it. “She’s already picked him out, her assistant is planning it as we speak.” 

“Him?” she all but spits out, unable to control herself. You flinch at the tone of her voice and drop your forehead to rest on the soft velvet. 

“She’d never let me marry a woman, Lin.” you murmur, “she wants me to keep the perfect image she’s created of me, I can’t break it, that might just kill her before her sickness does.” 

“But you’ll never love him, does she not know this?” Lin demands, her mind is racing with a million images of you in some man's arms and suddenly she wants to destroy everything in sight. 

“I’ve never told her about my… attractions. She thinks it's wrong and read it can be fixed with some kind of medicine that's being sold in the black market.” You look up finally and meet Lin's gaze, suddenly her anger dissipates as she looks into your eyes and sees how truly devastated you are. 

She sits back down and pulls you into her arms where you begin to weep. Your hand clutches the front of her shirt so tightly Lin’s sure you might just rip it. She once dreamed of you two getting married, it was before her fight with her family and she even put on a dress to make you smile, which you did. Before your lips touched after saying ‘I do’ she whispered against your lips “I love you Mrs. Beifong” and you flushed a deep red before pulling her into a breathtakingly passionate kiss that had someone in the crowd, most likely Bumi or Suyin, whistling. 

“I’ve never even kissed a girl” you croak out, your head resting on Lin's shoulder. You’ve cried out all the tears in your system for now and your eyes are puffy. Her hand that was soothingly running through your hair stills at your words. Truthfully, neither has she. 

“Would you- do you want to?” Lin asks and instantly she regrets it. You pull away from her shoulder, her hand dropping onto the back of the couch as you stare into her eyes. 

“W-With you?” Your eyes are wide and cheeks a deep red, your still close and Lin takes that as a good sign. All she can do is nod and some kind of strange sound comes out of you that makes her stomach clench. “I... “ you rub the back of your neck, “would like that a lot.” 

For a minute, maybe two, neither of you move. You're the first to break as you lean closer to Lin which helps give her the courage to lean into you until your lips are a breath apart. You're shaking like a leaf so Lin places one of her hands on your shoulder to help ground you before pressing her lips against yours. That same sound from before escapes you, it's some kind of desperate low moan and Lin brings her other hand to rest on the back of your head to bring you even closer. 

You crawl onto Lin’s lap and place a leg on either side of her hips, it's like her dreams but it's so much better which is confirmed by the hand that slips up her shirt to grip her bare hip. Lin lets out a guttural sound and pulls away, you let out a breathy sigh as Lin’s lips reattach themselves onto your jaw and make a slow, wet trail down to the base of your neck. 

“Lin” you moan and she’s officially decided that she can die happy now, if she must live any longer her name on your lips is all she wants to hear. You lose yourselves in each other and eventually stumble to your canopy bed that's across the room. 

It’s the best thing Lin’s ever done, she makes sure to touch you everywhere she possibly can and kisses you there too. If she were ever to become religious you’d be her god and your body the temple that she’d worship every single day. 

The sun has set by the time you two have calmed down and Lin holds you in her arms as you lay your head on her bare shoulder. Her thumb traces circles on your stomach as she whispers “we could run away.” 

“You know I can’t Lin, she’s all I have.” 

_ You have me _

  
  


* * *

_ The media representative for the y/l/n family says y/n and Chao have just welcomed their first child, a healthy baby girl, only ten months after their wedding! I think we all know what that honeymo-  _ Lin rips her radio out of the socket and throws it against the wall.

* * *

  
  


Never once has Lin dreaded standing on these steps until today, a call was made late last night whilst she was asleep about a break in at the y/l/n family estate, an attempt was made on your life and due to the high profile of your family Lin along with five officers have to come to your home to make sure its a secure and get statements. 

One of her best detectives knocks on the grand mahogany door for her and a male servant opens it up “thank you for coming so quickly” he says and ushers them inside. Another servant, also a male, offers them tea to which they all, besides officer Liu who began to ask for a cup of oolong before Lin gently jabs him in the stomach to shut up. 

“We’ll split up, Liu and Cho, I want you to secure the perimeter, apparently the perpetrators entered through the west wing. The rest of you along with myse-” 

“Chief Beifong, Lady Y/L/N asked if she could talk to you privately about last night” one of the servants interrupts her in some uppity tone that makes her roll her eyes. What could you want? 

“Fine, the rest of you interview everyone who was working here yesterday whilst I get a statement from Mrs. Y/L/N” Lin has to try her hardest to spit out the word ‘mrs’ but ultimately fails seeing as her officers look terrified now and all scurry off to do their respective tasks. 

Someone leads her up the stairs and down the left hall, to what Lin remembers being your mother's sitting room. The servant opens the door for Lin and says to whom she can only assume is you, “Chief Beifong.” He leaves and Lin reluctantly takes a step inside. 

She’s seen photographs of you in the papers, your family has always been one the media adores but it’s still shocking to be face to face with you. After your wedding Lin stopped returning your calls or letters, after a month you gave up much to Lin’s chagrin. Part of her wanted you to go to the ends of the earth for her, like she would for you. 

Your features have matured over the past five years and you're dressed in a floor length hanbok instead of your showy dresses. There's a massive bruise around your throat that makes her anger dissipate as worry sets in. She clears her throat which snaps you out of your reverie and says “So, what can you tell me about last night?” 

Your brows pinch together and you frown, you look hurt. You turn your back on her and go to sit at one of the elaborately designed couches. It’s heinous and so not you. “You can sit, y’know.” 

“I’m fine right here, now I need to know anything you can remember about last night to help me keep you… your family safe.” Your shoulders sag and you sigh. 

“I don’t know much, I think they wanted to kill me… one of the men kind of looked familiar though” your hand comes up to your throat and hovers over the nast bruise. Lin decides she should probably sit down, if you're going to continue and if it gets any worse then that she might just fall to her knees. 

“Where do you remember seeing the man?” she asks, your eyes flicker around the room. “He used to work for mom.” 

“But he isn’t currently employed by your family?” She pulls out her small notebook meant for things like this and starts to write down about a possible suspect. 

“No, he quit after the wedding, I don’t remember his name but his eyes were so… blue.” That unfortunately isn’t much help, Lin sighs, trying not to flinch when you mention that day. You stand up from your couch and sit on the one Lin settled on, she tenses up but you make sure to sit on the opposite end. “I want to divorce him, Lin.” 

“That’s irreleva-” 

“I’ve never loved him, please. H-He knows about… me. He found out a few years ago and fired all our female employees, he doesn’t like me alone with women. Lin I want to leave him” you plead softly, as if someone may hear. 

“Then leave him, I don’t understand why you feel the need to tell me” she grumbles. You lean a bit closer to her but make sure not to get too close. 

“He has my family assets, I-I don’t think I can do it alone. Lin Please” you beg and at that she looks up and into your eyes. Your eyes are brimming with tears and you grip the fabric of your hanbok tightly. 

“What about Annchi?” Tenzin had told Lin about your daughter one time, he mentioned how he met her a few months after her birth but you stopped talking to him shortly after. 

“I’d take her with me, please, tomorrow at dusk meet me at that spot you took me to on your birthday, our spot, please.” Before Lin can respond the door to the sitting room slams open and in steps your husband, following him is the same servant who guided Lin here. “Sir I am so sorry. I’m new and I-I di-” 

Chao sighs and looks over his shoulder “It’s fine, but next time lady Y/L/N needs a guard with her, it’s far too dangerous right now, especially in her condition.” You quickly wipe away your tears and stand, he opens his arms for you and you reluctantly step inside of them. “Chief Beifong, you're a childhood friend of my wives, yes?”

He offers her a wide grin that unsettles her, “yes, we went to grade school together.” Lin stands as well and puts her notepad away along with her pen. 

“Well I’m shocked to have not met you before today, Y/N why wasn’t she at the wedding?” he pecks you on your cheek and you look up at him with a small, almost defeated smile. 

“I believe she was busy, honey. She does have a time consuming job” you reply smoothly, you set a hand on his chest and Lin feels like she’s been subjected to one of her worst nightmares. “Well that is to bad, y’know we do have another monumental par-” 

“I don’t think she’d want to come to that cha-” you hastily reply but Chao chuckles and interrupts you. 

“Why not? Do you not want your friend at the baby shower? It’ll make up for lost time.” You look down at your feet as he brings you even closer. Lin feels like she’s been submerged into the North Pole’s canals and her heart has most definitely stopped beating. Are you pregnant again? 

“I need to get back to the station, I want to try and find the awful men who broke in yesterday as fast as possible” she says and hastily leaves the sitting room, she bounds down the stairs as fast as she can without tripping and slams the front door open so she can get out of there, out of eyesight and away from him, from you. She doesn’t wait for her officers to finish up, instead she mounts her motorcycle and speeds off.

The next day she reluctantly takes herself to your spot, she brought a car instead of a motorcycle since you said you’d be bringing Annchi. She doesn’t know if she can actually look at your daughter without breaking down, but she’ll try her hardest for you.

It’s ten o’clock when Lin gives up on waiting, she slams her car door shut and drives home, she’s pretty sure she broke at least three traffic laws but she’s too consumed in her thoughts to care.

It’s three days later that she sees you again, you stop by the station with two bodyguards in tow, you're wearing another elegant hanbok and an officer brings you into Lin’s office, claiming if anyone just knocks they’ll get yelled at for it. The guards come into her office with you and it's a bit cramped with the four of you. 

“My husband found the men, he wanted me to come tell you we’re safe now and to thank you for stopping by” you say softly, Lin’s brows pinch together, you won’t look her in the eyes. “I also wanted to let you know that I was a bit hysterical the other day due to fear and my hormones, but thank you for lending an ear.” 

What? Lin looks between the two guards and then at you, you very subtly shake your head. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N the men should be brought into the station, they are criminals and need to be apprehended” Lin stands from her chair. 

_ Give me a sign, anything, show me you meant to be there at dusk. Give me something, please _

You nod and make to leave but one of the guards lays his hand on your shoulder “Lady Y/L/N, aren’t you forgetting something?” he asks, Lin looks him over and her heart stops as she looks into his eyes  _ ‘his eyes were so blue’ _ you’d said. You pull out a small, golden envelope and hand it to her before disappearing with your guards stalking behind you.

_I still love you_

Lin rips open the envelope and inside is an invitation to your baby shower which is set a few months from now. 

  
  


* * *

_ I am here to report sad news today, Republic City, Chao Y/L/N was found dead this morning. He peacefully passed away in his sleep and is survived by his wife, Y/N Y/L/N and his two children, Annchi, who is sixteen, and his son Han who is eleven. Please send them your condolences as they go through this hard time.  _

* * *

  
  
  


Lin is sent a letter two days after the announcement regarding your husband, it’s from you, she’d never forget your handwriting, asking her to meet you at your spot, at dusk once more. She wants to burn the letter and not show up, but she’s weak when it comes to you and caves at the last second, she drives there, her heart racing at the idea of seeing you once more. 

When Lin pulls up an hour has passed since dusk but you're still sitting there, waiting for her. You're wearing a pair of pants with a shirt tucked in and an overcoat to help with the fall breeze and you seem a bit lighter than last time she saw you. 

Shortly after she got the invitation for your baby shower the servant from the day she stopped by, the one who showed her to the sitting room had knocked on her apartment door with a letter gripped in his shaking hand. Lin took it from him and slammed the door on his face before opening it up. 

_ “I can’t go through with it anymore, I’m sorry, please understand that I wanted it even if it was unrealistic.”  _

She had spent that night curled up on top of her covers crying as she remembered every little thing about you and your time together. She’ll die alone, she thought, because no one could ever beat you. 

“Hi,” your voice is like honey and she has to squeeze her eyes shut to keep from giving into it and getting trapped once more, “I wanted to… I wanted to explain somethings.” 

“Then explain” she replies planly and you wring your hands out in front of you as you try to find the right words. 

“I was gonna show up, Lin… but he figured it out and threatened to keep Annchi from me, he showed me these papers, they were lies but it was all incriminating and would have been used against me in court…” You let out a shaky, uneven breath as you try to remain calm and not cry. “I’ve spent the last eleven years envisioning if I had successfully run away with you and Annchi and each time I have to stop myself before it gets too painful.” 

Suddenly it all makes sense, you seemed so desperate to leave and then you called it all off with a flick of your wrist. You knew Lin was a bit insecure and she was so hurt when you stood her up, but all along you didn’t want to. You were getting ready to meet her that night. You take a hesitant step towards Lin, then another and another until you're in front her, only two paces away. 

“That night, when we were younger, it was the best night of my life, Lin. After you left in the morning I couldn’t stop crying, everyone tried to comfort me because they thought it was about my mom and I felt even worse because… because the pain of knowing I destroyed our chance hurt more.” 

“Do you still… care about me?” Lin asks, part of her wants to take the question back but she keeps her ground and waits for an answer. Your head flies up in surprise as you stare into her eyes. 

“Lin… I’ve never stopped loving you, the maids on my wedding day kept having to dry my tears in the dressing room because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how badly I messed up.” Her eyes widen at your confession, love? You love her? Even now you love her despite all those years apart and you still love her. Everything regarding you seemed so unachievable her whole life but now it's within reach and Lin feels her throat constricting, she doesn’t know what to do or say. 

You take her silence as an answer and take a step back, you rip your gaze from hers as you feel your heart crack. Spirits you're so embarrassed, you had assumed she knew about your feelings and had always hoped she reciprocated them, all the signs pointed to yes but maybe you read into them too much. 

“I’m sorry” you mutter before going to leave, you walk towards your own car with your head down and as you go to open the car door Lin puts her hand on it to stop you, you're trapped now between the car and her, and you don’t know what to do. 

You don’t lift your head up so Lin gently grasps your chin and tilts it up so she can look into your eyes once more. “I love you too,” she leans down and captures your lips in a searing kiss that makes you feel eighteen again. You wrap your arms around her neck and pull her closer to you, so long has she been out of your grasp, you don’t know if you’ll ever let her go again but you don’t think she’ll mind.


End file.
